As I was walking to my classroom in Vienna, as a young student of a Russian mentor, I met a Polish classmate who had just played his Chopin Scherzo to the mentor before me. And while we were waiting for the master to come back in the room after a little break, I asked him how he was doing. He tells me, pianist-style, letting his hands roam over the keyboard, how beautiful this work is and that he loves it, as difficult as it is. But, he adds, with Polish humor : "I am not sure that Chopin loves me !"
This anecdote remained with me, with the burst of laughter that accompanied it, as a real question that we ask ourselves more often than we think : "Am I loved ? This question, which seems a little naive, a little "young teenager", is in fact a derivative of a more fundamental question : "Do I feel loved ? Because of course it is only a question of the feeling that one offers to oneself to live - or not. And more than a feeling, I would say : a revelation. That of who we really are.
We often believe that we don't love enough, that we want to love more, that we don't know how to love... And we forget that in the two movements of breathing in and out, there are also these two movements of our being to "the source" (call this feeling of Life as you like) : sometimes we go towards, we try to connect, to access "the source", other times, it is the opposite impulse that occurs, what we call "touched by grace".
THE TWO MOVEMENTS OF LIFE
In other words, there is the movement of giving and the movement of receiving. The second is perhaps less conscious than the first. For it does not call upon the same mechanisms in us. It confuses us. In "receiving", what can I do? Nothing! Receive. Our society has accustomed us to the first movement, the one that does and acts (giving) to experience anything. This Yang energy is probably asking us, in this period of mutation, to balance itself more with our Yin energy, less explored as a powerful force (and more active than we think) of "receiving".
In Hebrew, the word "Kabel" which is at the origin of the Cabala (commentaries of Jewish religious texts), means "to receive".
But, you may ask, what can I receive when I feel empty, in need of something ? This is actually the right time to receive.
Emptiness is a fullness that does not know itself.
Because once the "receiving" is felt, another essential step comes, like the movement of air in our lungs and the sophisticated intelligence of our heart pumping oxygen to spread throughout our body. This step is that of reception.
When I receive something pleasant, how much am I able to welcome it? 5%? 60% ? 100% ? This welcome is only from me to me. It is not the reception of an object in reality, but that of the feeling of love (whatever form it takes) towards myself. Sometimes the body, paradoxically, becomes tense when it is faced with love. Of fear, of nervousness, of unusualness...
As the chair or the armchair welcomes me, can I welcome any experience in me, as in the hollow of a loving heart ?
Then I realize that everything conspires to make me experience that, fundamentally, I am loved. And this is perhaps the ultimate moment that usually occurs in a hypnosis session, in the intimacy of each person, in his or her infinite and unspeakable knowledge of what is going on in this moment.
Love sometimes takes strange forms! Is it necessary to refuse it ?
And in other words, to conclude on this beginning of suggestion to oneself : what could make me believe that I am not loved ? Am I aware that I have chosen, in one way or another, to make myself live this from the moment I make myself believe in absence rather than presence, that of love towards myself ?
In this passage of Pesach and Easter, between the Christian resurrection and the liberation of the Word when the Jews came out of Egypt, I have only one invitation to share with you under the warm sun of this springtime that is perpetually reborn to itself : to return to the etymology of "Pessa'h", that of the passage or perhaps of the not-wise...!
Whether it was in the love that you receive, that you welcome or that you give, there is only one joy and one wisdom: that of the instinct of life.
Happy transition from April to May !
With all my heart to you,
Hélène Tysman
