I am not what I think. "I am what I think that you think that I am" said the philosopher.
So, who am I ?
On stage, I indulge in my intimacy. The singer Bjork told it to the journalists, retorting that she did not understand why people wanted to have breakfast with her when the most authentic part she was revealing was on stage...
Music has no other virtue, it seems to me, than to be a mirror of our soul. Like everything else, it vibrates. It resonates with our own history, our frequency, our melody. At every moment our heart beats the measure, yet we do not become aware of it as when our attention is focused on music for example. It then comes to highlight, in color, those vibrations that are there permanently, breath of life, connection to the deepest and most intimate part of oneself. This place that we can call soul, unconscious, subconscious, mindfulness, spirit or anything else, like being exposed, how can it not be the most intimate part of our person ? And paradoxically the most universal. Recently invited to play in a particular context and at the same time so natural, during a celebration for the Earth by shamans from all over the world, I am overwhelmed to see the reaction of men and women moved by tears. "Men take care of everything but the essential, that is, themselves" said Indian Rumi.
During this event, a woman testifies : "I thought we were listening to music with our ears. And I just realized that this is not true, we listen with the whole body, every cell and every pore of our skin..." Another one : "I've never felt as connected to myself as I did during this music". One more : "music evokes war to me..." and again: "while listening to these musics, I went through chaos to finally reach silence, peace, echoes of that full moon in July". Among shamans, the reality we perceive is only a reflection of what is inside us and vice versa. They call it the Tonal and the Nagual. No difference between inside and outside.
A wise man said that we can't make peace among humans if we don't make peace with the Earth and vice versa. Just as it seems impossible to make peace with the other person if I didn't make peace with myself (or reverse).
What are we so afraid of today ? If you were no longer afraid of anything, absolutely nothing, what would you do with this day, with this life that is at your disposal ? As classical pianist, I have long believed in effort in a somewhat negative connotation. By changing perspective I created this anagram : offered. Offering as well as receiving is not always the easiest act contrary to popular beliefs. It is sometimes easier to get used to "effort" than to "offer". But if we are not able to receive, what will our efforts be used for ?
Every moment is a gift to offer or receive as breath goes in and out. At this moment there is no more difference between the two, because when the heart acts, we no longer know who is giving and who is receiving. Bach having gone through so many trials and tribulations in his life, contrary to the image we can have of him when we listen to his transparent music full of love, generosity, light, spirituality (in its literal meaning : being connected to). Yet Bach was in prison, quarrelled with many people including his own children, rebelled, was not unanimously accepted as a cantor in Leipzig and saw himself die almost incognito. However, his most famous cantata is entitled Joy of Man's Desiring / Jesu bleibet mine Freud. This is the teaching. Beyond a whole life, when from the depths of our darkness we succeed in connecting ourselves to our heart, to the Joy, then we become aware of the Life that passes through us and can taste its pure vibrations.
"Didn't you know that joy is really a fear of which we fear nothing ? We go through a fright from one end to the other, and that is precisely what joy is. A fear of which we do not only know the initial. A fright in which we trust."Rainer Maria Rilke in Eleventh Dream.
What if joy and fear are just the two sides of a same piece, one being aware, the other still ignorant, one in light, the other in darkness ? Isn't a day spent without a connection to your own heart a lost day ? As a violin not played, not vibrating. Then music would be that tool, that instrument that allows us to adjust the strings of our body, our mind, to tune our own instrument, not to contemplate an external and disembodied beauty but on the contrary to experience that beauty and joy that inhabit us in the depths of our being. We are the creator as well as the interpreter. Our illusion sometimes is to wait for someone or something coming to make us vibrate although we're already full of life and joy !
What if today was the time to celebrate your life ? Shine your sun, your fire, your light in this summer season that comes to caress your skin to the song of the quivering birds of life ! What if beyond all this joy was the infinite light from the bottom of the oceans ? Many of us have the impression of cataclysms, of a world that is getting carried away in this period that echoes French film director Jean Renoir 's "The Rule of the Game" (1939) whose hightlight was a quote from a Duke at the dawn of a revolution in the 19th century : "We dance on a volcano". But can we avoid going through the chaos to find the star ? To take a new look at who I am ? Is chaos nothing more than a most sophisticated polyphony whose language we do not yet know ? Can life be anything else than movement ? The greatest journey said Marcel Proust is to change your perspective. We call the shaman the one who is "master of chaos". I like mirror movements like Bach and Leonard Da Vinci used to handle so well. From KO to OK we can learn to walk like the tightrope walker from one side to the other by creating our own work of art.
So, who are you now ?
Wishing you a wonderful summer !
In the vibration of the heart, May this day resonate with you.